Planning + Advice, 12 December 2018

How and When to Fire a Bridesmaid

Firing a bridesmaid is a situation none of us want to be faced with but what if your bridesmaid just isn’t interested in the wedding, she’s not answering any of your calls or texts and she’s busy on the night of the hen party? She’s still the same girl you thought you couldn’t tie the knot without so you need to ask yourself where it all went wrong? 

#1 They’re just not interested in the wedding 

If your bridesmaid isn’t taking an interest in your big day then believe it or not, this isn’t necessarily a good reason to sack her. Some people just don’t know what is expected of them and if they are not getting married then listening to others talk about weddings can be quite boring. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to have the special day you deserve. 

#2 Ask yourself if you’ve got a bit too carried away 

All too often, we get carried away with the planning of our weddings and expect too much from those around us. Perhaps you’ve chosen an expensive dress and expensive shoes that you expect your bridesmaid to pay for. This is fine but have you determined her budget? What if she simply can’t afford the dress, the shoes and the hen party but instead of offending you, she’s ignoring your texts and calls because she simply doesn’t want to let you down. 

#3 Try and understand why your bridesmaid may be acting like this 

Our advice would be to speak with your bridesmaid face to face and try to resolve any issues there may be before you fire her. Ask them how they’re feeling and find out what’s going on in their personal lives. You may be surprised to hear that they’ve got a lot going on which is why they haven’t invested much time and attention into your wedding planning. 

#Think about the reasons you asked her to be bridesmaid in the first place 

Did you ask her to return the favour as you were bridesmaid in hers, did you feel like you had too or could you really not see yourself tying the knot without her? Sometimes we ask people for all the wrong reasons. If this was the case for you and she’s causing you more stress than is necessary, then it might be easier to cut ties. 

#5 Set clear expectations 

If you’ve not been able to identify any issues, sit down with her and tell her your expectations. If she still doesn’t listen to you and continues to ignore your texts and calls then maybe you have grounds for firing her but first … 

#6 Ask yourself if you’re prepared to say goodbye to the friendship for good 

If you sack your bridesmaid, the chances are she may never want to speak to you again and this is something you really have to consider. You don’t want to live with regrets for the rest of your married life. 

#7 You think it’s best for them not to play a role but you don’t want to completely lose their friendship either. 

If you haven’t been able to resolve any issues but don’t want to risk losing that friend forever then you’ll have to be considerate in the way you explain that you no longer want her to be a Bridesmaid. We advise not to do it via text, meet up with her so that she knows you still value her as a friend. If you prefer, you can blame your budget and ask her to play a part in getting people to sign the guestbook or handing out prosecco instead. That way, you don’t look like the bad guy. Above all else, be polite and remind her that she still means the world to you. 

Have you ever had to fire a bridesmaid? 

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