#1 Why are you asking?
Okay, this may seem like a simple question but if you’re asking because you feel you have too or because she asked you to be a bridesmaid at hers then it’s probably not a good idea to ask her at all.
#2 Is she actually interested in the wedding?
You want to be surrounded by people who are as equally as excited as you about your big day. You want your bridesmaids to be there every step of the way with you so if you’re dealing with someone who really isn’t that bothered that you’re even engaged, think twice about popping the question.
#3 Are we going to be friends forever?
When asking someone to be your bridesmaid, you should be asking those nearest to you, those you couldn’t imagine getting married without. After all, these people are going to be in your wedding photos forever so choose those closest to you who you believe will be friends forever.
#4 Could our relationship withstand turbulence?
Planning a wedding can be stressful and you may disagree on things such as bridesmaid dresses or colour schemes. If you feel like she would give you the silent treatment after such disagreements then perhaps it would be best to invite her as a guest instead of a bridesmaid.
#5 Does she have the time?
A bridesmaid needs to invest a lot of time to help the bride so if she lives away or has other commitments, it’s probably best not to ask her to be a bridesmaid to avoid any disappointment.
#6 Will she get on with the rest of the group?
There will be many moments over the next couple of months where your bridal party will spend a lot of time together. Whether that be for the wedding planning, hen party, bridal shower, or for the big day itself, you want to make sure they all get along. The last thing you want to do is invite someone who will divide people. That really is a stress you don’t need.
#7 Will she be able to calm you down?
Wedding planning can be stressful and you want to surround yourself with those who will lighten the load or at the very least, be able to calm you down when the stresses of planning a wedding become too much.
#8 Could she play a different role?
If you’re struggling to decide whether someone will be a good bridesmaid or you feel obliged to ask someone but don’t want them as a bridesmaid, consider involving them in other ways such as asking them to play a piece of music after the ceremony or helping to hand out confetti cones.
#9 How does my fiancé feel?
If your best friend and fiancé can’t stand being in the same room together, it’s probably best not to ask her to be bridesmaid. Your wedding day is about the both of you and you don’t want to do anything which makes him feel uncomfortable.
#10 Is she supportive of my relationship?
Again, if she has never liked your partner and is always quite opinionated, it’s probably best to play it safe and not ask her to be your bridesmaid.